The soldier was tired and sleepy from a long train ride in a miserable old-day coach. On top of this, two fussy old ladies were keeping him awake with argument about a window. One wanted it closed and the other wanted it open. This fuss finally brought the conductor.

"Conductor," said one, "if that window is opened, I'll just freeze to death!"
"And if it is kept closed," whined the other, "I'll suffocate."

The poor conductor didn't know what to do and finally turned to the GI for help. "What would you do, soldier, if it were a military problem?"

"In the Army we handle such problems like a double-prong attack. Open the window and freeze one of them, then close it and suffocate the other."
 
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. 

The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.